sometimes i want to be gentle
apply a slight friction see if i can kindle
a spark and not a blazing fire
take my dubious intent
into retire..ment
i don't always want to be so aggressive
don't mean to be obsessive
compulsive
take the ball and run with it
fly off the handle for no reason
because even storms have an off season
winds in at 90 miles per hour
coming through to devour
everything in my path
take a dynamite and blast
what was built to last
eager to grasp
some small piece
of a state of being
called "peace"
put your mind and soul at ease
be a summer breeze
nuture you like spring
be that one thing
that you find most pleasing
because even storms have an off season
i don't always want to be the rain
pounding at your window pane
diaster
calamity
choas
debris
clouding your vision so that you can't see
my simple complexities
or complex simplicities
excite
you
when i
ignite
your sense with
intricate
word play and conversation
have your mind taken
a sabbatical
a quest to find the unknown
be it misdemeanor or high treason
because even storms have an off season
so when the winds don't blow
and the floods don't flow
when rains don't rain
or beat on your window pane
and you no longer feel the need
to flee
just know there is a reason
because even storms have an off season
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Loss for Words
Losing ground and can't get out
Screaming in my own head getting loud
Desperate, and still in crevices in my subconscious
Lay a grueling pain and sounds of it lingered on my brain
Cries from the past now silenced
And still I search for some hope of solace
But alas there is none to find
So the ghosts of my youth dance through my mind
Why couldn't you share that part of who you were
I loved you more than your confessions could EVER deter
Now I stand at your grave
Trying to wrap my mind around the news I got today
Scanning with my minds eyes
To locate the place I went awry
Though I want to be angry I can not
Screaming in my own head getting loud
Desperate, and still in crevices in my subconscious
Lay a grueling pain and sounds of it lingered on my brain
Cries from the past now silenced
And still I search for some hope of solace
But alas there is none to find
So the ghosts of my youth dance through my mind
Why couldn't you share that part of who you were
I loved you more than your confessions could EVER deter
Now I stand at your grave
Trying to wrap my mind around the news I got today
Scanning with my minds eyes
To locate the place I went awry
Though I want to be angry I can not
Randomness
I have everything to say and nothing at all
The bigger they are the harder they fall
Why is our country in such horrible state
And who came up with the Harlem shake
Does Kanye have ANY class
Is ANYONE concerned about the weapons of mass
Destruction
I'snt justice
Itself and obstruction
If we are to teach
REACH
The next generation
Who saves US from world domination
Where has the school system gone
Raise your hands if you never "snapped"
Like serena done
Why does music soumd like it was salvaged from the recycling bin
Tell me when
This chaos ends
They say what goes around
Must come around again
So tell me when
We will L-O-V-E again
And I mean the love that's genuine
Why do Covergirl and botox represent beauty
How does you bank account make you better than me
Don't get me wrong i carry no degree yet
So who am I to take seriously
These are just the rantings of a
Loving daughter and smart woman
Why are we looking to one MAN to change
Hundreds of years of mistakes
Meanwhile the earth is ravaged disease and earthquakes
Diaster and catastrophe everywhere we turn
Yet we won't turn
To the "ONE" with ALL power in His hands
HE is trying to get our attention
HE is looking to someone to take a stand
Will you stand
Will you
Or how about you
Until we do
We will continue
To
Go
Through
When I picked up my pen
I didn't know which direction I was going
But now there's no turning back
What will you do
When terrorist attack
Part two
I know what time it is
Do you
I have everything to say and nothing at all
The bigger they are the harder they fall
The bigger they are the harder they fall
Why is our country in such horrible state
And who came up with the Harlem shake
Does Kanye have ANY class
Is ANYONE concerned about the weapons of mass
Destruction
I'snt justice
Itself and obstruction
If we are to teach
REACH
The next generation
Who saves US from world domination
Where has the school system gone
Raise your hands if you never "snapped"
Like serena done
Why does music soumd like it was salvaged from the recycling bin
Tell me when
This chaos ends
They say what goes around
Must come around again
So tell me when
We will L-O-V-E again
And I mean the love that's genuine
Why do Covergirl and botox represent beauty
How does you bank account make you better than me
Don't get me wrong i carry no degree yet
So who am I to take seriously
These are just the rantings of a
Loving daughter and smart woman
Why are we looking to one MAN to change
Hundreds of years of mistakes
Meanwhile the earth is ravaged disease and earthquakes
Diaster and catastrophe everywhere we turn
Yet we won't turn
To the "ONE" with ALL power in His hands
HE is trying to get our attention
HE is looking to someone to take a stand
Will you stand
Will you
Or how about you
Until we do
We will continue
To
Go
Through
When I picked up my pen
I didn't know which direction I was going
But now there's no turning back
What will you do
When terrorist attack
Part two
I know what time it is
Do you
I have everything to say and nothing at all
The bigger they are the harder they fall
Love's Lesson
Enough of all this bashing me
I figured I'd step out of my silence, time for me to speak
Everything I do
Was not meant to
Degrade, demoralize, or heartbreak you
The TRUE me is a light
That shines in your night
Love's not a curse, but a blessing
So it's time that you learned that lesson
I figured I'd step out of my silence, time for me to speak
Everything I do
Was not meant to
Degrade, demoralize, or heartbreak you
The TRUE me is a light
That shines in your night
Love's not a curse, but a blessing
So it's time that you learned that lesson
Thursday, December 2, 2010
If You Dont Push, I Wont Pull
i was willing to give it all up
without argue or fuss
not look back
on that
because i know what he lacks
he was not you simply put
what good it due
to keep the shoe
and change the foot
words are mixed with
deception in it
my actions spoke
10 miles a minute
entered the race to win it
like the tortoise and the hare
maybe not in your time but i'll get there
fall back or spring foward
toward
a bright future
with me in it
give me your heart
and allow me to spin it
rotate it on my axis
show you there's
no other options
better than bliss
being the object
of my affection
taking new direction
cant get much closer
to perfection
unless you were in heaven
but i could be that too
just give me time to show you
it was always you
for whom
i've so long awaited
it was you for which
i was created
so if you promise
not to push then
i wont pull the wool
over your eyes
and i'll remain genuine
haven't i given you
every reason
to trust and believe in
what we could possibly be
so much more than lust
and trust is a must
so if you dnt push, then i wont pull...
because all i want is
you
without argue or fuss
not look back
on that
because i know what he lacks
he was not you simply put
what good it due
to keep the shoe
and change the foot
words are mixed with
deception in it
my actions spoke
10 miles a minute
entered the race to win it
like the tortoise and the hare
maybe not in your time but i'll get there
fall back or spring foward
toward
a bright future
with me in it
give me your heart
and allow me to spin it
rotate it on my axis
show you there's
no other options
better than bliss
being the object
of my affection
taking new direction
cant get much closer
to perfection
unless you were in heaven
but i could be that too
just give me time to show you
it was always you
for whom
i've so long awaited
it was you for which
i was created
so if you promise
not to push then
i wont pull the wool
over your eyes
and i'll remain genuine
haven't i given you
every reason
to trust and believe in
what we could possibly be
so much more than lust
and trust is a must
so if you dnt push, then i wont pull...
because all i want is
you
Good-bye
i guess this is good-bye
its about time
for me to leave this place
clear some cluttered space
been running a losing race
im tired of being left behind
being left with less than a PIECE of mind
maybe its PEACE i'll find
on the other side
screw trying next lifetime
i refuse to sign
for making happiness
my hater
better yet my rapist
elusive bitch!!!
should have fukered her
and made her suck my dic-
tion chocked the hell outta her
and made her my trick
fuck every part of this
fuked up life
especially you for
showing me what
dying feels like
looking at my reflection
i only see blood
so i close my eyes
and welcome the flood
perhaps it'll leak onto
my notebook
so that when you take a look
you'll see my pain
and how misery reigned
maybe, just maybe
you'll flip back to the beginning
and read it again
its about time
for me to leave this place
clear some cluttered space
been running a losing race
im tired of being left behind
being left with less than a PIECE of mind
maybe its PEACE i'll find
on the other side
screw trying next lifetime
i refuse to sign
for making happiness
my hater
better yet my rapist
elusive bitch!!!
should have fukered her
and made her suck my dic-
tion chocked the hell outta her
and made her my trick
fuck every part of this
fuked up life
especially you for
showing me what
dying feels like
looking at my reflection
i only see blood
so i close my eyes
and welcome the flood
perhaps it'll leak onto
my notebook
so that when you take a look
you'll see my pain
and how misery reigned
maybe, just maybe
you'll flip back to the beginning
and read it again
Abortion Poem: Words
ABORTION PIECE
by: Jasmine Nicole Mans & Alexis Marie
It rained last night.
And I know you could have sworn you saw my face in the rain.
And every time it rains near by I want you to imagine that’s how it would’ve sounded if I cried
I held my stomach thinking about how this pain is sucking the life out of me,
Bout how I paid $300 to get you sucked right out of me.
I’m sorry that my womb had to become a tomb bearing yours dreams that will never exist
Believe me when I say I let the tears you would have cried come alive in my eyes.
You do not know how many nights I screamed I’m sorry
to the skies, hoping that you could hear me
They say blood is thicker than water.
But Blood can never be thicker than my fetus slaughtered
Sucked out of you
Stopping up toilets of hospital restrooms
How could you
But I wasn't ready.
Heart pumping heavy with mistakes,
I’d rather have aborted you than have grown to become the mother you hate.
Because holding you and holding grudges would have become symmetrical
Vacuuming my insides of you.
Worthless like last night vegetables.
Just tell me
Are you happy now?
Because for the rest of your life you will be haunted by the illuminating essence of sun light
Because every time you have the ability to see yourself
You will know what I look like
God knows what you’ve done
He wrote you messages in the form of lightning.
Perfectly scripted letters against gray sky's,
How many times do I have to cry through the sky for you to realize
Momma we never had the proper goodbye?
Goodbye
I’m sorry for wrapping my virginity in a blanket and leaving it on God’s doorstep,
Hoping that he would find you because honestly I knew I didn’t deserve to have you.
Can you hear the sound of my grandmother humming as she clutches rosary beads close to breast?
Spines erect, infants walk upright up here.
Imitating the life that you never allowed me to have.
Looking down on mothers like you,
Who cradle their swollen bellies pregnant with broken dreams.
Your gums, suckling on old teenage love songs.
Ma, You disgust me
I can tell by the way you hold your purse you’re still a baby.
But since when does that give you the right to abort your only baby?
I was forced to grow old with fresh milk still crusted above my lips
And I thought, “Maybe if I bob my head a little harder, I could suck his soul from him.”
But swallowing his future never guaranteed that I would be a part of it so I choked, gagged, coughed up generations of broken Brooklyn back alleyway babies that were never able to make their way out my womb.
You don’t know how many times I slit my wrist in honor of you
I do
I know that you never look in the mirror because you’re afraid to see my face
But how can you continue to breathe knowing that you buried my cradle 6 feet
You cut my umbilical cord because you could never let me swallow what you eat
My vagina bleeds your tears
Exposing my true fears of your existence
You know the doctor told me you grew fingernails
And every day I feel the scars of the letters you’ve carved
And I hate myself for letting people come so far inside me they can read them
It rained last night.
And I know you could have sworn you saw my face in the rain.
Friday, November 12, 2010
The Oil Spill (cont'd)
but for now
it still burns
and he yearns
for the more of
and i open up
craftilty
happily
pleasures
of ecstasy
while he rummages
through my hidden treasures
succumbing to
newly explored
lands each level
revealing a hidden door
and through we've
been here before
this time yeilds a new
experience
and we both find
ourselves in a reance
yet he drills me harder
and harder still
for he has beckoned
a passion that wills
him beyond the simplistic
confines
of his own mind
and lunges him
into deep abyss
where logic, and time
run amiss
and dogmatic
concepts of sex
arent accepted
and he mounts me
and pounds me
and with each sure
thrust i picture
stroms driven waves
erupting as they
crash into the shore
breath gets deeper
and shorter
as we round the last corner
head lightens
stomach tightens
and spasms
beyond my control
as he he continues
to
poke me with his pole
i explode
and implode
his pelvis
meets my hips
i shift and he laughs
he tickled me
with his quill
and in turn
made my oil spill
it still burns
and he yearns
for the more of
and i open up
craftilty
happily
pleasures
of ecstasy
while he rummages
through my hidden treasures
succumbing to
newly explored
lands each level
revealing a hidden door
and through we've
been here before
this time yeilds a new
experience
and we both find
ourselves in a reance
yet he drills me harder
and harder still
for he has beckoned
a passion that wills
him beyond the simplistic
confines
of his own mind
and lunges him
into deep abyss
where logic, and time
run amiss
and dogmatic
concepts of sex
arent accepted
and he mounts me
and pounds me
and with each sure
thrust i picture
stroms driven waves
erupting as they
crash into the shore
breath gets deeper
and shorter
as we round the last corner
head lightens
stomach tightens
and spasms
beyond my control
as he he continues
to
poke me with his pole
i explode
and implode
his pelvis
meets my hips
i shift and he laughs
he tickled me
with his quill
and in turn
made my oil spill
The Oil Spill (to be continued)
he parts my sea
then he
drills
into me
like im an oil well
and he couls
stand to be
a millionaire
according to
his findings there
deep, and deeper still
he surges
taking his fill
of me
satisfying his urges
my waters
are what purgers
his deeply
rooted desire
quenching his fire
then he
drills
into me
like im an oil well
and he couls
stand to be
a millionaire
according to
his findings there
deep, and deeper still
he surges
taking his fill
of me
satisfying his urges
my waters
are what purgers
his deeply
rooted desire
quenching his fire
Soul Butterflies
You give my soul butterflies
That kind of power utterly lies
In the air that carries your whisper
As it flutters by
My ears decode your cypher
And my spine shutters I
Stutter awhile
And nutter another
Melt me like butter
And my heart smiles
Your soul ties
Itself to mine
Dancing til our
Molds interwine
I recede into
Your very being
Close eyes now seeing
Speak to my essence
And my mind replies
Time flies
On the wings of our love
Made to fit like a hand
And glove
Your eyes pierce me
Tugs at me spiritually
You are the spark
That light
My fireless nights
Raptured to reunite
Reignite
The smothered flames
To forever and back again
But to hear you speak
Gives my soul butterflies
That kind of power utterly lies
In the air that carries your whisper
As it flutters by
My ears decode your cypher
And my spine shutters I
Stutter awhile
And nutter another
Melt me like butter
And my heart smiles
Your soul ties
Itself to mine
Dancing til our
Molds interwine
I recede into
Your very being
Close eyes now seeing
Speak to my essence
And my mind replies
Time flies
On the wings of our love
Made to fit like a hand
And glove
Your eyes pierce me
Tugs at me spiritually
You are the spark
That light
My fireless nights
Raptured to reunite
Reignite
The smothered flames
To forever and back again
But to hear you speak
Gives my soul butterflies
Today i Saw You
Today i saw you as i never have before
The things i saw captivted me left me wanting more
In all your wisdom and intellectual galore
Still you needed me and that i couldnt inore
We cant all be a rock all the time
But i'll be yours if you'll be mine
The things i saw captivted me left me wanting more
In all your wisdom and intellectual galore
Still you needed me and that i couldnt inore
We cant all be a rock all the time
But i'll be yours if you'll be mine
Diary entry #1
I can't heal your heart
If you won't admit its fallen apart
I can see the scar
She left
Caused imprints
That can never be
Removed
Used and abused
The love you shared
Traces of tears
Left on your soul
Have scabbed
And gotten old
Your warmth was froze-
N and i was chosen
To mend the pieces
But i cant now
I dont know how
Each time i try
You shut me out
Will you ever trust me
Know i'm not she
But me
If you won't admit its fallen apart
I can see the scar
She left
Caused imprints
That can never be
Removed
Used and abused
The love you shared
Traces of tears
Left on your soul
Have scabbed
And gotten old
Your warmth was froze-
N and i was chosen
To mend the pieces
But i cant now
I dont know how
Each time i try
You shut me out
Will you ever trust me
Know i'm not she
But me
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Climax
Explosion
Of sporadic convulsions
Caused by illicit
Subject
Matters
However Explicit
In character
Catching this rendezvous
From a birds eye view
Presents only in body, not in mind
Cerebral inclined
Beyond ecstasy
Undulating and engaging
Every sense
Ever since
We commenced
Light headed
So my thoughts are transparent
And its apparent
That it was my aim
To indulge in such pleasurable pain
Tried to refrain
When your essence called my name
I had to answer
Relishing every moment
Of enjoyment
While you ravish me like cancer
Santa
Couldnt have govern a better gift
If he wrapped and put a bow on it
Until finally
We
Spontaneously combusted
Volcanically erupted
Explosions
Of sporadic convulsions
Originated from lust and impulsives
Of sporadic convulsions
Caused by illicit
Subject
Matters
However Explicit
In character
Catching this rendezvous
From a birds eye view
Presents only in body, not in mind
Cerebral inclined
Beyond ecstasy
Undulating and engaging
Every sense
Ever since
We commenced
Light headed
So my thoughts are transparent
And its apparent
That it was my aim
To indulge in such pleasurable pain
Tried to refrain
When your essence called my name
I had to answer
Relishing every moment
Of enjoyment
While you ravish me like cancer
Santa
Couldnt have govern a better gift
If he wrapped and put a bow on it
Until finally
We
Spontaneously combusted
Volcanically erupted
Explosions
Of sporadic convulsions
Originated from lust and impulsives
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Seduction (art of desires)
Shhhh....
Dont talk
Just touch me
Kiss me
Softly
Right there
Pull me close
Bite
Hard...
Harder
Whisper
Like that
Let's exchange moans
I'll kiss you here
There
Push you on the bed
Climb on top
You feel me against you
How it feel?
You want me?
Say it
Say you want me
Why you made me miss u?
Licking your lips biting
Smiling
Can i have you?
All of you
I want it
Pinning your hand down
Sliding the tip of my tongue down from your neck to the center of your body
Nibbling
Slidng up getting out of bed
Walking away smiling
Make me know you want it
Dont talk
Just touch me
Kiss me
Softly
Right there
Pull me close
Bite
Hard...
Harder
Whisper
Like that
Let's exchange moans
I'll kiss you here
There
Push you on the bed
Climb on top
You feel me against you
How it feel?
You want me?
Say it
Say you want me
Why you made me miss u?
Licking your lips biting
Smiling
Can i have you?
All of you
I want it
Pinning your hand down
Sliding the tip of my tongue down from your neck to the center of your body
Nibbling
Slidng up getting out of bed
Walking away smiling
Make me know you want it
Holding You Down
repression in secession
constant setbacks
devoid of kick backs
canat shake loose the quick sand
springboard to kickstand
standing my ground
always holding you down
dizzy from circles
reds,blacks,grey and purples
never green
but still you lean
on me to keep you strong
even though you're wrong--
DEAD WRONG
still i stay
without me you'll sway
lose your grip
take dip
or plunge
powers that be will make you lunch
the good girl behind the bad boy
coy
in the public eye
never on the front line
brightened your light, dimmed mine
let you borrow my shine
made the ultimate sacrifice
now im unfulfilled and this wont suffice
not waiting for you to come around
while i continue holding you down
constant setbacks
devoid of kick backs
canat shake loose the quick sand
springboard to kickstand
standing my ground
always holding you down
dizzy from circles
reds,blacks,grey and purples
never green
but still you lean
on me to keep you strong
even though you're wrong--
DEAD WRONG
still i stay
without me you'll sway
lose your grip
take dip
or plunge
powers that be will make you lunch
the good girl behind the bad boy
coy
in the public eye
never on the front line
brightened your light, dimmed mine
let you borrow my shine
made the ultimate sacrifice
now im unfulfilled and this wont suffice
not waiting for you to come around
while i continue holding you down
Does Mine Matter??
Ambitions listed
Confessions
Kissed it
Somehow must've
Missed it
The big debate
Holds little weight
When your focus
is unfocused
And the actions
Go Unnoticed
Origami
Unfolded
Pottery
Not molded
Or the path
Not chosen
Decision clear
Incision here
Lend a listening ear
Incoherent chatter
Does mine matter??
Confessions
Kissed it
Somehow must've
Missed it
The big debate
Holds little weight
When your focus
is unfocused
And the actions
Go Unnoticed
Origami
Unfolded
Pottery
Not molded
Or the path
Not chosen
Decision clear
Incision here
Lend a listening ear
Incoherent chatter
Does mine matter??
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Needy
i wish fo love lost,unsure if i can hold on
while my fragile ego, is thrown and tossed
i long for solid ground, someone to put their arms around me
i long for peace, oh how i long just to be happy
someone at last to love me
sometimes i get so lonely, i wish you could understand
that i need someone to love me, want me, need me
at times i feel so needy, allowing you the upperhand
i fel so foolish, so vurnerable, so willing to be open with you
it becomes so hard for me to say, that i need you because i havent known you for long
at times i let my pride speak, another day passes by
yet i refuse to bend, because in my eyes that would be weak
im too strong for you to see me cry
but im just a friend so i cant show much
wish i didnt feel so needy
while my fragile ego, is thrown and tossed
i long for solid ground, someone to put their arms around me
i long for peace, oh how i long just to be happy
someone at last to love me
sometimes i get so lonely, i wish you could understand
that i need someone to love me, want me, need me
at times i feel so needy, allowing you the upperhand
i fel so foolish, so vurnerable, so willing to be open with you
it becomes so hard for me to say, that i need you because i havent known you for long
at times i let my pride speak, another day passes by
yet i refuse to bend, because in my eyes that would be weak
im too strong for you to see me cry
but im just a friend so i cant show much
wish i didnt feel so needy
Addiction to Writing
I have this addiction
every time i write its a release
i tell what i feel...
dont care what time of day it is
if it heavy on my heart..
my writing takes a burden off of this..
sometimes it hard to talk to family
especially if they are friends..
so i take the time to talk to my therapist...
the journal and pen..
but under these circumstances i use this keyboard
every time i write its a release
i tell what i feel...
dont care what time of day it is
if it heavy on my heart..
my writing takes a burden off of this..
sometimes it hard to talk to family
especially if they are friends..
so i take the time to talk to my therapist...
the journal and pen..
but under these circumstances i use this keyboard
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Some Of My Fav Quotes
- to be great is to be misunderstood; so yu may misunderstand me; but never underestimate me
- Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake up and live! - Bob Marley
- Who are you to judge the life I live?. I know im not perfect & i dont live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. - Bob Marley
- Don't forget your history, nor your destiny. - Bob Marley
- Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold. - Bob Marley
- Herb is the healing of a nation. Alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
- In this bright future you can't forget your past.- Bob Marley
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