If You Dont Push, I Wont Pull

i was willing to give it all up
without argue or fuss
not look back
on that
because i know what he lacks
he was not you simply put
what good it due
to keep the shoe
and change the foot
words are mixed with
deception in it
my actions spoke
10 miles a minute
entered the race to win it
like the tortoise and the hare
maybe not in your time but i'll get there
fall back or spring foward
toward
a bright future
with me in it
give me your heart
and allow me to spin it
rotate it on my axis
show you there's
no other options
better than bliss
being the object
of my affection
taking new direction
cant get much closer
 to perfection
unless you were in heaven
but i could be that too
just give me time to show you
it was always you
for whom
i've so long awaited
it was you for which
i was created
so if you promise
not to push then
i wont pull the wool
over your eyes
and i'll remain genuine
haven't i given you
every reason
to trust and believe in
what we could possibly be
so much more than lust
and trust is a must
so if you dnt push, then i wont pull...
because all i want is
you

Good-bye

i guess this is good-bye
its about time
for me to leave this place
clear some cluttered space
been running a losing race
im tired of being left behind
 being left with less than a PIECE of mind
maybe its PEACE i'll find
on the other side
screw trying next lifetime
i refuse to sign
for making happiness
my hater
better yet my rapist
elusive bitch!!!
should have fukered her
and made her suck my dic-
tion chocked the hell outta her
and made her my trick
fuck every part of this
fuked up life
especially you for
showing me what
dying feels like
looking at my reflection
i only see blood
so i close my eyes
and welcome the flood
perhaps it'll leak onto
my notebook
so that when you take a look
you'll see my pain
and how misery reigned
maybe, just maybe
you'll flip back to the beginning
and read it again

Abortion Poem: Words

ABORTION PIECE

by: Jasmine Nicole Mans & Alexis Marie

It rained last night.

And I know you could have sworn you saw my face in the rain.

And every time it rains near by I want you to imagine that’s how it would’ve sounded if I cried

I held my stomach thinking about how this pain is sucking the life out of me,

Bout how I paid $300 to get you sucked right out of me.

I’m sorry that my womb had to become a tomb bearing yours dreams that will never exist

Believe me when I say I let the tears you would have cried come alive in my eyes.

You do not know how many nights I screamed I’m sorry

to the skies, hoping that you could hear me

They say blood is thicker than water.

But Blood can never be thicker than my fetus slaughtered

Sucked out of you

Stopping up toilets of hospital restrooms

How could you

But I wasn't ready.

Heart pumping heavy with mistakes,

I’d rather have aborted you than have grown to become the mother you hate.

Because holding you and holding grudges would have become symmetrical

Vacuuming my insides of you.

Worthless like last night vegetables.

Just tell me

Are you happy now?

Because for the rest of your life you will be haunted by the illuminating essence of sun light

Because every time you have the ability to see yourself

You will know what I look like

God knows what you’ve done

He wrote you messages in the form of lightning.

Perfectly scripted letters against gray sky's,

How many times do I have to cry through the sky for you to realize

Momma we never had the proper goodbye?

Goodbye

I’m sorry for wrapping my virginity in a blanket and leaving it on God’s doorstep,

Hoping that he would find you because honestly I knew I didn’t deserve to have you.

Can you hear the sound of my grandmother humming as she clutches rosary beads close to breast?

Spines erect, infants walk upright up here.

Imitating the life that you never allowed me to have.

Looking down on mothers like you,

Who cradle their swollen bellies pregnant with broken dreams.

Your gums, suckling on old teenage love songs.

Ma, You disgust me

I can tell by the way you hold your purse you’re still a baby.

But since when does that give you the right to abort your only baby?

I was forced to grow old with fresh milk still crusted above my lips

And I thought, “Maybe if I bob my head a little harder, I could suck his soul from him.”

But swallowing his future never guaranteed that I would be a part of it so I choked, gagged, coughed up generations of broken Brooklyn back alleyway babies that were never able to make their way out my womb.

You don’t know how many times I slit my wrist in honor of you

I do

I know that you never look in the mirror because you’re afraid to see my face

But how can you continue to breathe knowing that you buried my cradle 6 feet

You cut my umbilical cord because you could never let me swallow what you eat

My vagina bleeds your tears

Exposing my true fears of your existence

You know the doctor told me you grew fingernails

And every day I feel the scars of the letters you’ve carved

And I hate myself for letting people come so far inside me they can read them

It rained last night.

And I know you could have sworn you saw my face in the rain.

The Oil Spill (cont'd)

but for now
it still burns
and he yearns
for the more of
and i open up
craftilty
happily
pleasures
of ecstasy
while he rummages
through my hidden treasures
succumbing to
newly explored
lands each level
revealing a hidden door
and through we've
been here before
this time yeilds a new
experience
and we both find
ourselves in a reance
yet he drills me harder
and harder still
for he has beckoned
a passion that wills
him beyond the simplistic
confines
of his own mind
and lunges him
into deep abyss
where logic, and time
run amiss
and dogmatic
concepts of sex
arent accepted
and he mounts me
and pounds me
and with each sure
thrust i picture
 stroms driven waves
erupting as they
crash into the shore
breath gets deeper
and shorter
as we round the last corner
head lightens
stomach tightens
and spasms
beyond my control
as he he continues
to
poke me with his pole
i explode
and implode
his pelvis
meets my hips
i shift and he laughs
he tickled me
with his quill
and in turn
made my oil spill

The Oil Spill (to be continued)

he parts my sea
then he
drills
into me
like im an oil well
and he couls
stand to be
a millionaire
according to
his findings there
deep, and deeper still
he surges
taking his fill
of me
satisfying his urges
my waters
are what purgers
his deeply
rooted desire
quenching his fire

Soul Butterflies

You give my soul butterflies
That kind of power utterly lies
In the air that carries your whisper
As it flutters by
My ears decode your cypher
And my spine shutters I
Stutter awhile
And nutter another
Melt me like butter
And my heart smiles
Your soul ties
Itself to mine
Dancing til our
Molds interwine
I recede into
Your very being
Close eyes now seeing
Speak to my essence
And my mind replies
Time flies
On the wings of our love
Made to fit like a hand
And glove
Your eyes pierce me
Tugs at me spiritually
You are the spark
That light
My fireless nights
Raptured to reunite
Reignite
The smothered flames
To forever and back again
But to hear you speak
Gives my soul butterflies

Today i Saw You

Today i saw you as i never have before
The things i saw captivted me left me wanting more
In all your wisdom and intellectual galore
Still you needed me and that i couldnt inore
We cant all be a rock all the time
But i'll be yours if you'll be mine

Diary entry #1

I can't heal your heart
If you won't admit its fallen apart
I can see the scar
She left
Caused imprints
That can never be
Removed
Used and abused
The love you shared
Traces of tears
Left on your soul
Have scabbed
And gotten old
Your warmth was froze-
N and i was chosen
To mend the pieces
But i cant now
I dont know how
Each time i try
You shut me out
Will you ever trust me
Know i'm not she
But me

Confession

Know without knowing

Curiosity growing

Obvious showing

Climax

Explosion
Of sporadic convulsions
Caused by illicit
Subject
Matters
However Explicit
In character
Catching this rendezvous
From a birds eye view
Presents only in body, not in mind
Cerebral inclined
Beyond ecstasy
Undulating and engaging
Every sense
Ever since
We commenced
Light headed
So my thoughts are transparent
And its apparent
That it was my aim
To indulge in such pleasurable pain
Tried to refrain
When your essence called my name
I had to answer
Relishing every moment
Of enjoyment
While you ravish me like cancer
Santa
Couldnt have govern a better gift
If he wrapped and put a bow on it
Until finally
We
Spontaneously combusted
Volcanically erupted
Explosions
Of sporadic convulsions
Originated from lust and impulsives

Seduction (art of desires)

Shhhh....
Dont talk
Just touch me
Kiss me
Softly
Right there
Pull me close
Bite
Hard...
Harder
Whisper
Like that
Let's exchange moans
I'll kiss you here
There
Push you on the bed
Climb on top
You feel me against you
How it feel?
You want me?
Say it
Say you want me
Why you made me miss u?
Licking your lips biting
Smiling
Can i have you?
All of you
I want it
Pinning your hand down
Sliding the tip of my tongue down from your neck to the center of your body
Nibbling
Slidng up getting out of bed
Walking away smiling
Make me know you want it

Holding You Down

repression in secession
constant setbacks
devoid of kick backs
canat shake loose the quick sand
springboard to kickstand
standing my ground
always holding you down
dizzy from circles
reds,blacks,grey and purples
never green
but still you lean
on me to keep you strong
even though you're wrong--
DEAD WRONG
still i stay
without me you'll sway
lose your grip
take dip
or plunge
powers that be will make you lunch
the good girl behind the bad boy
coy
in the public eye
never on the front line
brightened your light, dimmed mine
let you borrow my shine
made the ultimate sacrifice
now im unfulfilled and this wont suffice
not waiting for you to come around
while i continue holding you down

Does Mine Matter??

Ambitions listed
Confessions
Kissed it
Somehow must've
Missed it
The big debate
Holds little weight
When your focus
is unfocused
And the actions
Go Unnoticed
Origami
Unfolded
Pottery
Not molded
Or the path
Not chosen
Decision clear
Incision here
Lend a listening ear
Incoherent chatter
Does mine matter??

Needy

i wish fo love lost,unsure if i can hold on
while my fragile ego, is thrown and tossed
i long for solid ground, someone to put their arms around me
i long for peace, oh how i long just to be happy
someone at last to love me
sometimes i get so lonely, i wish you could understand
that i need someone to love me, want me, need me
at times i feel so needy, allowing you the upperhand
i fel so foolish, so vurnerable, so willing to be open with you
it becomes so hard for me to say, that i need you because i havent known you for long
at times i let my pride speak, another day passes by
yet i refuse to bend, because in my eyes that would be weak
im too strong for you to see me cry
but im just a friend so i cant show much

wish i didnt feel so needy

Addiction to Writing

I have this addiction
every time i write its a release
i tell what i feel...
dont care what time of day it is
if it heavy on my heart..
my writing takes a burden off of this..
sometimes it hard to talk to family
especially if they are friends..
so i take the time to talk to my therapist...
the journal and pen..
but under these circumstances i use this keyboard

Some Of My Fav Quotes

• to be great is to be misunderstood; so yu may misunderstand me; but never underestimate me
• Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake up and live! - Bob Marley
• Who are you to judge the life I live?. I know im not perfect & i dont live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. - Bob Marley
• Don't forget your history, nor your destiny. - Bob Marley
• Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold. - Bob Marley
• Herb is the healing of a nation. Alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
• In this bright future you can't forget your past.- Bob Marley

In The Morning

I can feel his breath as if he's right in my face
Leaning in getting ready to kiss me
I can feel his embrace
So tight
So secure
Embracing for seconds
then minutes
We dont want to let go
I can see his smile
It brightens up this room
Brings life back in where it was once gloom
I hear him speak
He puts me in a trance with words that sound like music to my ears
I can feel him slowly caress my body while i slowly exhale
He is my drug that puts me to sleep
Feeling content and he settles
my restless spirit
I see it all so vividly
and  i think to myself
What an awsome dream
it felt so real
Then the sun creeps through the blinds
Its morning
Time to rise
and as i begin to open my eyes
i couldnt believe it
it wasnt a dream
for this man
The man i was missing
Longing for
Dreaming about
was in fact there with me
and the whole night actually did happen
for this time it wasnt a dream
So i smiled to myself
Leaned in and
Kissed him good morning
For what a good morning it was
My Mr.Sexy Chocolate 
Laying here beside me holding me

Our First Kiss

The first time i saw you, curiousity struck my mind
Who is this man? So cool, so sexy, and so refined
As you got close to me and arousing sensation overpowered my organic structure
A warm sensation flowed through me and my neck i began to feel the moisture
Mesmorized by those ebony eyes and your smooth chocolate brown complexion
I could see the outline of my face which showed my distinguished Reflection
Eyeing me seductively i became absorbed in such a magnificent specimen
i was ready to board your ship, with only you as the captain
With uninhibited actions engaging you into my innocence
You took me through the motions giving me very admirable guideance
Awakening every inch of my pulsating essence
Your lips moved swiftly with such masculine brilliance
Drawing my bottom lip into your mouth while slowly absorbing my soul
I realized we were kissing for the first time and my mind was spinning out of control

Forbidden Fruit

Im feeling you far more than i should

Its understood

We can never be more than friends

Even that depends

On progression

Of my Infatuation 

Started as out an innocent crush

Now im yearning your touch

Superfluous annotations

Accompany subtle cannotations

Of you and me

That can be

Im with "he"

Still i sleep and there you are

Admiring you from afar

Complexities delete physical

Insert spiritual AND mental

Wonder if you know i meant all

I've said

Missed all you've read

No matter much how

Because "we" is off limits

Being timid

Tip-toeig around the issue

Wishing i didnt miss you

Trying not to miss use 

The like ive found

In "find" because its genuine

The apple of HIS eye

Wanting YOU to take a bite

Maybe i'll see

You next lifetime

You can pick from my apple tree

For now its something we cant do 

In the garden labeled: FORBIDDEN FRUIT