If You Dont Push, I Wont Pull

i was willing to give it all up
without argue or fuss
not look back
on that
because i know what he lacks
he was not you simply put
what good it due
to keep the shoe
and change the foot
words are mixed with
deception in it
my actions spoke
10 miles a minute
entered the race to win it
like the tortoise and the hare
maybe not in your time but i'll get there
fall back or spring foward
toward
a bright future
with me in it
give me your heart
and allow me to spin it
rotate it on my axis
show you there's
no other options
better than bliss
being the object
of my affection
taking new direction
cant get much closer
 to perfection
unless you were in heaven
but i could be that too
just give me time to show you
it was always you
for whom
i've so long awaited
it was you for which
i was created
so if you promise
not to push then
i wont pull the wool
over your eyes
and i'll remain genuine
haven't i given you
every reason
to trust and believe in
what we could possibly be
so much more than lust
and trust is a must
so if you dnt push, then i wont pull...
because all i want is
you

Good-bye

i guess this is good-bye
its about time
for me to leave this place
clear some cluttered space
been running a losing race
im tired of being left behind
 being left with less than a PIECE of mind
maybe its PEACE i'll find
on the other side
screw trying next lifetime
i refuse to sign
for making happiness
my hater
better yet my rapist
elusive bitch!!!
should have fukered her
and made her suck my dic-
tion chocked the hell outta her
and made her my trick
fuck every part of this
fuked up life
especially you for
showing me what
dying feels like
looking at my reflection
i only see blood
so i close my eyes
and welcome the flood
perhaps it'll leak onto
my notebook
so that when you take a look
you'll see my pain
and how misery reigned
maybe, just maybe
you'll flip back to the beginning
and read it again

Abortion Poem: Words

ABORTION PIECE

by: Jasmine Nicole Mans & Alexis Marie

It rained last night.

And I know you could have sworn you saw my face in the rain.

And every time it rains near by I want you to imagine that’s how it would’ve sounded if I cried

I held my stomach thinking about how this pain is sucking the life out of me,

Bout how I paid $300 to get you sucked right out of me.

I’m sorry that my womb had to become a tomb bearing yours dreams that will never exist

Believe me when I say I let the tears you would have cried come alive in my eyes.

You do not know how many nights I screamed I’m sorry

to the skies, hoping that you could hear me

They say blood is thicker than water.

But Blood can never be thicker than my fetus slaughtered

Sucked out of you

Stopping up toilets of hospital restrooms

How could you

But I wasn't ready.

Heart pumping heavy with mistakes,

I’d rather have aborted you than have grown to become the mother you hate.

Because holding you and holding grudges would have become symmetrical

Vacuuming my insides of you.

Worthless like last night vegetables.

Just tell me

Are you happy now?

Because for the rest of your life you will be haunted by the illuminating essence of sun light

Because every time you have the ability to see yourself

You will know what I look like

God knows what you’ve done

He wrote you messages in the form of lightning.

Perfectly scripted letters against gray sky's,

How many times do I have to cry through the sky for you to realize

Momma we never had the proper goodbye?

Goodbye

I’m sorry for wrapping my virginity in a blanket and leaving it on God’s doorstep,

Hoping that he would find you because honestly I knew I didn’t deserve to have you.

Can you hear the sound of my grandmother humming as she clutches rosary beads close to breast?

Spines erect, infants walk upright up here.

Imitating the life that you never allowed me to have.

Looking down on mothers like you,

Who cradle their swollen bellies pregnant with broken dreams.

Your gums, suckling on old teenage love songs.

Ma, You disgust me

I can tell by the way you hold your purse you’re still a baby.

But since when does that give you the right to abort your only baby?

I was forced to grow old with fresh milk still crusted above my lips

And I thought, “Maybe if I bob my head a little harder, I could suck his soul from him.”

But swallowing his future never guaranteed that I would be a part of it so I choked, gagged, coughed up generations of broken Brooklyn back alleyway babies that were never able to make their way out my womb.

You don’t know how many times I slit my wrist in honor of you

I do

I know that you never look in the mirror because you’re afraid to see my face

But how can you continue to breathe knowing that you buried my cradle 6 feet

You cut my umbilical cord because you could never let me swallow what you eat

My vagina bleeds your tears

Exposing my true fears of your existence

You know the doctor told me you grew fingernails

And every day I feel the scars of the letters you’ve carved

And I hate myself for letting people come so far inside me they can read them

It rained last night.

And I know you could have sworn you saw my face in the rain.