Off Season

sometimes i want to be gentle
apply a slight friction see if i can kindle
a spark and not a blazing fire
take my dubious intent
into retire..ment
i don't always want to be so aggressive
don't mean to be obsessive
compulsive
take the ball and run with it
fly off the handle for no reason
because even storms have an off season
winds in at 90 miles per hour
coming through to devour
everything in my path
take a dynamite and blast
what was built to last
eager to grasp
some small piece
of a state of being
called "peace"
put your mind and soul at ease
be a summer breeze
nuture you like spring
be that one thing
that you find most pleasing
because even storms have an off season
i don't always want to be the rain
pounding at your window pane
diaster
calamity
choas
debris
clouding your vision so that you can't see
my simple complexities
or complex simplicities
excite
you
when i
ignite
your sense with
intricate
word play and conversation
have your mind taken
a sabbatical
a quest to find the unknown
be it misdemeanor or high treason
because even storms have an off season
so when the winds don't blow
and the floods don't flow
when rains don't rain
or beat on your window pane
and you no longer feel the need
to flee
just know there is a reason
because even storms have an off season

Loss for Words

Losing ground and can't get out
Screaming in my own head getting loud
Desperate, and still in crevices in my subconscious
Lay a grueling pain and sounds of it lingered on my brain
Cries from the past now silenced
And still I search for some hope of solace
But alas there is none to find
So the ghosts of my youth dance through my mind
Why couldn't  you share that part of who you were
I loved you more than your confessions could EVER deter
Now I stand at your grave
Trying to wrap my mind around the news I got today
Scanning with my minds eyes
To locate the place I went awry
Though I want to be angry I can not

Randomness

I have everything to say and nothing at all
The bigger they are the harder they fall
Why is our country in such horrible state
And who came up with the Harlem shake
Does Kanye have ANY class
Is ANYONE concerned about the weapons of mass
Destruction
I'snt justice
Itself and obstruction
If we are to teach
REACH
The next generation
Who saves US from world domination
Where has the school system gone
Raise your hands if you never "snapped"
Like serena done
Why does music soumd like it was salvaged from the recycling bin
Tell me when
This chaos ends
They say what goes around
Must come around again
So tell me when
We will L-O-V-E again
And I mean the love that's genuine
Why do Covergirl and botox represent beauty
How does you bank account make you better than me
Don't get me wrong i carry no degree yet
So who am I to take seriously
These are just the rantings of a
Loving daughter and smart woman
Why are we looking to one MAN to change
Hundreds of years of mistakes
Meanwhile the earth is ravaged disease and earthquakes
Diaster and catastrophe everywhere we turn
Yet we won't turn
To the "ONE" with ALL power in His hands
HE is trying to get our attention
HE is looking to someone to take a stand
Will you stand
Will you
Or how about you
Until we do
We will continue
To
Go
Through
When I picked up my pen
I didn't know which direction I was going
But now there's no turning back
What will you do
When terrorist attack
Part two
I know what time it is
Do you
I have everything to say and nothing at all
The bigger they are the harder they fall

Love's Lesson

Enough of all this bashing me
I figured I'd step out of my silence, time for me to speak
Everything I do
Was not meant to
Degrade, demoralize, or heartbreak you
The TRUE me is a light
That shines in your night
Love's not a curse, but a blessing
So it's time that you learned that lesson

If You Dont Push, I Wont Pull

i was willing to give it all up
without argue or fuss
not look back
on that
because i know what he lacks
he was not you simply put
what good it due
to keep the shoe
and change the foot
words are mixed with
deception in it
my actions spoke
10 miles a minute
entered the race to win it
like the tortoise and the hare
maybe not in your time but i'll get there
fall back or spring foward
toward
a bright future
with me in it
give me your heart
and allow me to spin it
rotate it on my axis
show you there's
no other options
better than bliss
being the object
of my affection
taking new direction
cant get much closer
 to perfection
unless you were in heaven
but i could be that too
just give me time to show you
it was always you
for whom
i've so long awaited
it was you for which
i was created
so if you promise
not to push then
i wont pull the wool
over your eyes
and i'll remain genuine
haven't i given you
every reason
to trust and believe in
what we could possibly be
so much more than lust
and trust is a must
so if you dnt push, then i wont pull...
because all i want is
you

Good-bye

i guess this is good-bye
its about time
for me to leave this place
clear some cluttered space
been running a losing race
im tired of being left behind
 being left with less than a PIECE of mind
maybe its PEACE i'll find
on the other side
screw trying next lifetime
i refuse to sign
for making happiness
my hater
better yet my rapist
elusive bitch!!!
should have fukered her
and made her suck my dic-
tion chocked the hell outta her
and made her my trick
fuck every part of this
fuked up life
especially you for
showing me what
dying feels like
looking at my reflection
i only see blood
so i close my eyes
and welcome the flood
perhaps it'll leak onto
my notebook
so that when you take a look
you'll see my pain
and how misery reigned
maybe, just maybe
you'll flip back to the beginning
and read it again

Abortion Poem: Words

ABORTION PIECE

by: Jasmine Nicole Mans & Alexis Marie

It rained last night.

And I know you could have sworn you saw my face in the rain.

And every time it rains near by I want you to imagine that’s how it would’ve sounded if I cried

I held my stomach thinking about how this pain is sucking the life out of me,

Bout how I paid $300 to get you sucked right out of me.

I’m sorry that my womb had to become a tomb bearing yours dreams that will never exist

Believe me when I say I let the tears you would have cried come alive in my eyes.

You do not know how many nights I screamed I’m sorry

to the skies, hoping that you could hear me

They say blood is thicker than water.

But Blood can never be thicker than my fetus slaughtered

Sucked out of you

Stopping up toilets of hospital restrooms

How could you

But I wasn't ready.

Heart pumping heavy with mistakes,

I’d rather have aborted you than have grown to become the mother you hate.

Because holding you and holding grudges would have become symmetrical

Vacuuming my insides of you.

Worthless like last night vegetables.

Just tell me

Are you happy now?

Because for the rest of your life you will be haunted by the illuminating essence of sun light

Because every time you have the ability to see yourself

You will know what I look like

God knows what you’ve done

He wrote you messages in the form of lightning.

Perfectly scripted letters against gray sky's,

How many times do I have to cry through the sky for you to realize

Momma we never had the proper goodbye?

Goodbye

I’m sorry for wrapping my virginity in a blanket and leaving it on God’s doorstep,

Hoping that he would find you because honestly I knew I didn’t deserve to have you.

Can you hear the sound of my grandmother humming as she clutches rosary beads close to breast?

Spines erect, infants walk upright up here.

Imitating the life that you never allowed me to have.

Looking down on mothers like you,

Who cradle their swollen bellies pregnant with broken dreams.

Your gums, suckling on old teenage love songs.

Ma, You disgust me

I can tell by the way you hold your purse you’re still a baby.

But since when does that give you the right to abort your only baby?

I was forced to grow old with fresh milk still crusted above my lips

And I thought, “Maybe if I bob my head a little harder, I could suck his soul from him.”

But swallowing his future never guaranteed that I would be a part of it so I choked, gagged, coughed up generations of broken Brooklyn back alleyway babies that were never able to make their way out my womb.

You don’t know how many times I slit my wrist in honor of you

I do

I know that you never look in the mirror because you’re afraid to see my face

But how can you continue to breathe knowing that you buried my cradle 6 feet

You cut my umbilical cord because you could never let me swallow what you eat

My vagina bleeds your tears

Exposing my true fears of your existence

You know the doctor told me you grew fingernails

And every day I feel the scars of the letters you’ve carved

And I hate myself for letting people come so far inside me they can read them

It rained last night.

And I know you could have sworn you saw my face in the rain.